


Never Look Back

by RomanaOnCaprica



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 05:30:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanaOnCaprica/pseuds/RomanaOnCaprica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor looked at the door, contemplating whether or not stepping outside was the right thing to do. He didn't have to do this. He could always just push this crazy idea to the back of his mind until he forgot about it.</p><p>But that was the thing – he didn't think he would forget.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Look Back

**Author's Note:**

> Set (and originally written) between series 5 and 6.

The Doctor sighed as the TARDIS landed. He felt bad dumping Amy back home, especially since he didn't have the best reputation for coming back on time, but this was just something he had to face alone. He looked at the door, contemplating whether or not stepping outside was the right thing to do. He didn't have to do this. He could always just push this crazy idea to the back of his mind until he forgot about it.

But that was the thing – he didn't think he would forget.

He walked over to the door and slowly pulled it open. As he stepped outside he surveyed his surroundings. It was a neighborhood he had spent so much time in over the last few years, and yet it's dark streets couldn't have felt more foreign. He slowly walked down the dimly lit footpath, remembering all the times he had walked along this very street. Except usually it was more brisk and desperate – he was glad he could take a stroll and enjoy the neighborhood.

Well, that's what he tried to convince himself. But really he was stalling. He usually didn't have time to actually think about what he was doing, and he was starting to doubt himself. But he had come this far, and he couldn't turn back now.

He finally reached the familiar five floor walk-up. It looked a lot newer then the building he was used to, but that was a given. He dug his hand into the inside of his jacket and produced his sonic screwdriver. Looking around, he shined the green light on the security gate. He pushed it open and quickly closed it behind him, surveying his surroundings as he entered. He considered the main set of stairs in front of him before deciding to opt for the fire escape. He wanted a back window. He clambered up the rickety metal stairs as quietly as he could until he found what he knew was the right apartment. The lights were still on – something he had hoped for. He took a quick peek in each window until he found what he had come so far to see.

And there she was. Judging by the year, she was probably about 11. She sat in front of a clunky computer, clicking away. Pausing for a moment, she gracefully brushed her blonde shoulder length hair out of her face before surrendering her hand to the mouse again.

The Doctor quickly ducked in case she looked his way. He sat on the metal platform, leaning against the cold, hard bricks. He wasn't really sure how he felt at this point. His feelings had morphed along with his regeneration. He wasn't fond of her like his old self was. But he still had the memories. All those wonderful things they did together, and the warm feeling he would get when he looked at her. They lingered like ghosts of his past, calling to him.

The Doctor stood up quickly, trying to break his train of thought. He didn't like to ponder on his previous incarnations. He preferred to move on and take advantage of the fact that it was a new life. New interests, new ideas, new adventures - not looking back kept him from spending his whole life a sad Time Lord.

This had been a mistake. He should never have come. He dashed down the stairs, fleeing from his past. He needed to focus on the present. He briskly walked back to the TARDIS, full of confusion, regret and slight anger. He quickly yanked the key out of his pocket and retreated inside his spaceship. He flicked switches and pushed buttons on the hexagonal console like he had for so many years. He was about to send the TARDIS wheezing back to Amy when he suddenly paused. He looked at his hand hovering over the leaver.

Why did he do it? It had been such an impulse decision, he hadn't really thought about his motive behind it. Closure, he concluded. He just wanted closure. Something, he now realized, he will never find. Not for Jenny, or Donna, or the Time War, or Rose. He had to move on like he always had, never looking back. That was the curse of the last Time Lord.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first fanfic I ever wrote, back at the beginning of 2011. It's based off series 5 Doctor, and keep in mind he's changed a lot since then. These were my original notes:
> 
> "So I have to admit that I've always been a little bit scared of fanfiction. The idea of trying to mold a story around somebody else's character always scared me off. But today I decided to give it a try, and now I present to you my first ever work of fanfiction!
> 
> I don't want to be nostalgic because I am LOVING the Eleventh Doctor as much as I am the Tenth, but I just loved Rose so much that I wanted to associate Eleven with her somehow. I wanted Eleven to look into his emotions like Nine and Ten did. Hence this story..."
> 
> Weirdly enough, this is still my most favourite of all my works. Now my writing is all about dialogue and getting to the point - a reflection of my shift from prose to TV and textbooks, and I really think it's a weakness.


End file.
